I think I am hitting depression.
I feel so down or so angry. Nothing seems to be right.
I have a roof over my head, I can afford to eat everyday. I have someone to love.
So basically, minus the details, I should not be depressed!
May be I am not, I don't know but I really do not feel right today.
I checked up on depression checklist and I ticked on everything.
Now that's depressing. May be I shouldn't have checked the depression checklist, that made me even sadder.
I am not just depressed... I feel anger. It just rises whenever I think of the teacher and what I have to tell him so I that I do not make him feel bad yet get my message across.
Every time I think of a scenario, I start crying because nothing I come up with will sound gentle yet to the point. I can't do it right! I cannot understand why he would be so mean to such a vulnerable little girl and he is suppose to be her teacher. Where is the understanding, selfless kindness a teacher is suppose to have in his heart ? Especially for those who needs special care?
I feel so angry that I am keep shouting at Leigh for nothing that important. I know she is scared and she is putting up with me because I am her mother.
Dang I feel so bad.
2 comments:
I know real anger, especially when the situation and the people in it are the root of the problem. You can't take it out on them so you have all this pent up and you are short with everyone and everything in your radar. Sometimes, I have these imaginary conversations with these horrible people to "give them a piece of my mind". I almost always give them my perfect version with all the "right" words. HAHA. Kudos again for writing the teacher!!
Hi I do that too. I talk to in my mind thinking what I should have said, or what I should say. With very piercing words I am afraid.
All imaginary yes. In real life, I am a coward, I say it nicely.
You know, lately I am realising that with gluten free diet, I can control anger and pressure much better.
Less drowsy and tiring too.
I don't have any celiac disease, I don't think I am allergic to gluten, just may be a little sensitive to it?
Anyways, because I have been feeling pressure I have stopped taking food with gluten for a while (eating what Leigh eats) and I feel really great.)
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